How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

SUCK MY NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +23

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops