why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Q

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops