A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

What does water taste like? Water

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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