David Cameron

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My peni s

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops