Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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don't read this

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops