"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops