I was Born ready I was born naked.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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