Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops