What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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c-? men, C-men

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Matt is a Duster!

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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