What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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What are Antijokes? type of comedy typical joke setup anticlimax that it lack of punchline.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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