What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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EGGPLANT

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Potato!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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