What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops