If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

A Chinese kid fails his math test.

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

a Polar bear in an Igloo.

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

I like touching my boobs

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

wanna hear a joke? yes

How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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