a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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A sober Irish individual.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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What did death say to life? Go die

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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