A dyslexic blind man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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