Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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Set up Punch line.

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I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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British Dentistry

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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