What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Vagina cream... end of story

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -4

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops