What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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YOU

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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