How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

thumb_up thumb_down

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

thumb_up thumb_down

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

thumb_up thumb_down

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops