Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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