Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

A mans opinion.

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...