A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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Keanu Reaves

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops