How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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tims sty:)

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Apple juice.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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