Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops