Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats two plus two? Miles

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops