Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A child walks into a classroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops