when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I'm hungry.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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