What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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Tucker Rivera

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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