A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

Harry Chappell raped someone

hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

Hello.

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

What did the hungry man do? He ate.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

hey

How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

Mormons having fun.

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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