One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once there was a frog. My parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I had friends on the Death Star.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +10

its all aodhan

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops