Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-Knock Knock -Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

no

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops