You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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Cows are land manatees.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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