Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Gun Control

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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