What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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69

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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