A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom is so fat she's overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I'm a fork. Fork you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops