what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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