Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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women's rights

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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THE GAME

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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Justin Bieber

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Bags of delicious poop.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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