Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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