Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Why was the woman?

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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