What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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