A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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