why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Religion.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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penus

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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