Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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knock knock get lost!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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