Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops