- Anti Joke

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

Donald Trump

What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van