Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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What the hell are you doing?

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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