What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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There's a god, just kidding.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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cancer

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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