Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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canadians

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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