What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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There was a Black and a Mexican in a car, they were on their way to church.

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops