What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

thumb_up thumb_down -28

split your ass cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo mama's fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats In My Trash? Bears

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops