How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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I am a women

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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pee

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops