Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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