How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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balls

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Lil' Wayne

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What is a chair?

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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