Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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